Feed Your Spirit

How are you? No really how are you? How is your heart? Before you answer take a moment to give the costly, the vulnerable response. Not the one you think the world wants to hear, the true one - the one which perhaps you are avoiding. Look into my eyes and tell me true.

“Spiritual progress is like a detoxification.”  ― Marianne Williamson

As I sit here writing these words, I am filled with gratitude to have experienced this very conversation with friends and family throughout the years. They didn't stop when I said "I'm ok, I'm fine". They knew I wanted to open my heart but found myself paralyzed, overwhelmed or inarticulate. Quite often when I finally shared I would end up in a puddle of tears. It may sound weird but that was always a good sign. It was as though the tears were washing away everything that had been building up. That place of cleansing is where healing can begin. In that place is where I am forced in a beautiful but painful way to examine my life more closely.

Our lives will not be determined by our obstacles and problems, but by what we make out of them. - Ryan Holiday

When you take time to peer deeply into your life that is when you can begin to see where there is lack. Where you need something more or something less. If you don't like the current chapter of your life what do you want instead? What you have been feeding on in life may no longer providing be you with the nutrients you need to be strong and to make a profound difference in the world. You see if we cannot take care of ourselves, feed our own spirit then we will find ourselves deficient when those we care for need our love the most.

Practical Step

• Examine your life. What are you feeding on, either consciously or unconsciously? What words are you allowing to have power in your life? Who are you surrounding yourself with? When was the last time you were content, at peace?

If you don't like your answers, don't be discouraged. Instead give yourself permission to take some time. Time to find true north once again. Time to identify where you went off your path. Time to remove the unhealthy patterns in your life. Think about that place where you have gone in the past to reset - does that mean to be outdoors, to be away from people or to be with strong people who know you and can remind you of what is important? There is a solution, and you are feeling the way that you are because you are allowing yourself to real get in tune with your need for change. Change is not impossible. Baby steps. Just start small, begin chipping away at something little -- most of all be willing to do the work of growth and transformation. You won't regret this investment into yourself.

“Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it. If we're frantic, life will be frantic. If we're peaceful, life will be peaceful. And so our goal in any situation becomes inner peace.”  ― Marianne Williamson

Develop A Morning Ritual

My favorite mornings begin with a steaming hot shower followed by the whistling of a boiling tea kettle. I make a cup of my favorite tea (you can order some for yourself here), then with a match I light some candles and sit in my sacred space. There is something about beginning my day in this way that puts an imagined armor or protective bubble around me. Because let's be honest just surviving your day, much less being empowered to make it something amazing can be a lot of work. In order to be fully alive, to be deeply in touch with who we are, so that we can infuse it into all we do -- we must dedicate some time. YOU are worthy of investing in. I have found that these quiet moments anchor me and prepare me for the day ahead.

“But this is what I’ve learned the hard way: what people think about you means nothing in comparison to what you believe about yourself.” ― Shauna Niequist

Typically as I sit sipping my tea I also journal about the previous day, processing whatever may be on my heart or mind. If I have nothing to write, or feel like I'm in a weird place, then I will read something which I think will light the fire within. There were months where every day I would read a page of two from Big Magic, and recently I have been soaking up Present Over Perfect. There is a power that can come from reading the right words, at the right time. So when you are choosing a book to incorporate into your morning ritual, make sure it is one that resonates with where you are in the season of your life.

To be quite honest, there are some seasons where I am really good at having a morning ritual and other times where this ritual has been utterly neglected. I went through a year of having very inconsistent quiet times and it truly had an affect on me. When life gets busier is when our rituals tend to fall by the wayside, but those are the times when we need them to root and sustain us the most. Our energy affects the people around us, so if we are not taking care of ourselves we will be a conduit of anxiousness, stress, etc. instead of being a source of calm, love and joy.

“Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it. If we're frantic, life will be frantic. If we're peaceful, life will be peaceful. And so our goal in any situation becomes inner peace.” ― Marianne Williamson

Perhaps it's time to revisit your morning ritual. It's ok if it's not the same every day, the really important thing is that your morning starts in a beautiful way, so that you are filled with a brilliant calm and happiness which will spill onto others throughout your day. Don't let your days run you, instead be intentional -- it's amazing to watch what will happen when your perspective is light and hopeful from the very start of your day.

“When a woman rises up in glory, her energy is magnetic and her sense of possibility contagious.” ― Marianne Williamson

Create A Sacred Space

When was the last time you felt like you were in a sacred place of refuge, a place where you wanted to light a candle, take off your shoes and just be? As I write this, I am sitting in my favorite corner, it's near a balconette, and a curtain that sways with the breeze. I made the area cozy with a blanket and pillows. I have an old wooden typewriter box, that is topped with candles, books, and my beautiful mala beads. This is where I try to begin every morning. I sit here with a cup of tea and just breathe. I seek to cultivate peace here in this very spot. It's a small space, but it's my haven.

"I am going to make everything around me beautiful. That will be my life." - Elsie de Wolfe

Marie Kondo stated it perfectly there is a power in surrounding ourselves with things which "spark joy". When was the last time that you walked through your home and removed those things which do not spark joy? Objects can so often trigger memories which can affect your thoughts. Sometimes removing physical items, can help you to process emotional baggage. Consider removing those things which feed negative thoughts and perpetuate unfulfilling patterns. It's important to be encircled by those things which make your heart happy.

"Happiness is the choice I make today. It does not rest on my circumstances but on my frame of mind. I surrender any emotional habits that lead me down the path of unhappiness and pray for guidance in shifting my thoughts. In cultivating the habits of happiness, I attract the people and situations that match its frequency." - Marianne Williamson

This past weekend as I was sitting on my living room floor I thought about how content I am that my apartment reminds me of my childhood home. My parents worked very hard to cultivate a home base for my sisters and myself, to this day I treasure the hand painted floors, the German curtains and the glass balls in the window (even the one I poked a hole into). I am not talking about being focused on material items, we each need to live within our means. But some of my favorite places are those where the exterior is a bit shabby but when you open the door you step into a magical place.

Practical Step

June Saruwatari says to look at every item you own through what she calls a fourfold lens of "truth, love, meaning, purpose":

• Do you honestly need this item?
• Do you love it?
• Does it have some sort of significance in your life?
• Does it serve a purpose?

While we may dream of cultivating our entire home into a place which sparks joy, let's begin with a tiny corner, this is where our morning ritual can bloom.

Invent your world. Surround yourself with people, color, sounds and work that nourish you. - Susan Ariel Rainbow K.

The Desert In The City

If you like me have found yourself hungry for something more, dissatisfied with the seeming shallows of social media and empty networking events, this series is for you. I believe that each of us has the power to cultivate a depth which unfortunately has become a rarity in today's culture. We have lustily engorged ourselves on curated experiences, moving from one high to the next. Where has the era of treasuring and caring for every detail of life gone, just reminisce upon the stories of exquisitely perfumed clothing and hope chests compiled over generations? When was the last time you held a piece of fragrant sun-ripened fruit to your nose? When was the last time someone pulled out a knife to cut you a slice of a perfect peach? We must re-train ourselves to sit in a moment and to savor it as if that moment held within in it a costly wine, aged for years in a hidden dark cellar until it reached perfection.

As the summer days begin to wind down, let us capture the sunshine of bright memories, so that in the cold and rainy days to come we may unbottle those memories and have our homes made cozy by their warmth. To live such a life does not happen by mere accident, it is cultivated with intentionality. Today, I launch The Desert In The City series as much to water seeds of change in my own life as in yours.

"We are not given a good life or a bad life. We are given a life, and it is up to us to make it good or bad." - Paulo Coehlo